Need Help Developing Story

[King Mongo]

Brent hasn't been sending me any love, so I turn to you idiots. I mean, you swell guys.

I've been having some adventures in the Land of Online Personals. I'm trying to figure out a good approach to take in writing a piece on this, and having some trouble.

I mean, I could just use these womens' pictures, photoshop in some giant zits or scars, and then talk really mean shit. But, being callously abusive, while definitely in my character, is also sort of banal. I mean, seriously--anyone got some input? I don't need handholding, just an idea or soemthing to spark my productivity.

Word.

[zer0]

You could always rate them individually and base that rating on some kind of hilariously funny factor like craziness, ugliness, Star Trek geekiness or newly-divorced-horniness. Or all of the above!

Ever make the correlation between newly divorced women, their newly-dyed brown hair and their individual horniness? Seriously, it's like dying your hair brown seems to be some kind of measuring stick for horniness, newly divorced women, or something! The browner and more newly dyed their hair is, the hornier they are! Seriously!

I guess I could make you some illustrations, or something. If you wanted.

So, was this online-dating-thang something you did specifically for getting material for this article, or something? Or did you really go looking for love in the wrong places? Shit, what the fuck am I saying; I met my fiancée online! Uh, nevermind!

[King Mongo]

You could always rate them individually and base that rating on some kind of hilariously funny factor like craziness, ugliness, Star Trek geekiness or newly-divorced-horniness. Or all of the above!

Ever make the correlation between newly divorced women, their newly-dyed brown hair and their individual horniness? Seriously, it's like dying your hair brown seems to be some kind of measuring stick for horniness, newly divorced women, or something! The browner and more newly dyed their hair is, the hornier they are! Seriously!

I guess I could make you some illustrations, or something. If you wanted.

So, was this online-dating-thang something you did specifically for getting material for this article, or something? Or did you really go looking for love in the wrong places? Shit, what the fuck am I saying; I met my fiancée online! Uh, nevermind!
Oh, really? That's interesting. Maybe we should collaborate on this project. I don't think I need art, tho, because, well, I've got so much material already (pictures, emails, etc) which will be food for the project, ya know?

As for the brown hair thing--I don't know *what* you're talking about. That's just crazy.

Anyway, the honest reason that I don't want to be a dick about it is that they were all alright girls, some were hypocrites, some were liars, some were crazy, but decent enough (mostly, at least). It's not like they were ignorant ass phony military forum trolls or something.

[zer0]

We could collaborate, sure. But apart from artwork, I don't know if I'd be very useful. I've never had all that much experience with online dating before meeting my fiancée, which incredibly enough was something which happened almost purely by chance. What did you have in mind for an eventual collaboration?

Dude, that shit about newly divorced middle-aged women who dye their hair brown and go sex-crazy is 100% true! I once took a class together with a woman who fit the above description perfectly, and she was all over me after like 5 minutes! Her hair was dyed brown AND she'd just split up with her husband like 1 month earlier! I've also observed the same phenomenon elsewhere. Coincidence? I don't THINK so!

[Brent]

Oh man, I hadn't realized there was an attachment to that email you sent. Sheeps!

[King Mongo]

Oh man, I hadn't realized there was an attachment to that email you sent. Sheeps!
Christ, dude.