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View Full Version : A friendly tip for anyone with a PS2!



zer0
03-26-2004, 03:53 AM
Anyone owning a Playstation 2 and who loves zombies and the horror genre in general (Nicole, you reading this?) should very seriously endeavor _NOT_ to buy the game "Forbidden Siren" for the aforementioned system. The reason is because of the atrocious voice acting. My fucking God! The game has, hands down, the SINGLE WORST VOICE ACTING that I'VE EVER HEARD! Seriously; what the fuck were they thinking?!

SONY EXEC: "So, is that new Japanese horror game ready from overseas for distribution in Europe yet?"

SONY JR. EXEC: "Sure is! We'll add subtitles to the beautiful, mood-creating Japanese language so that the player can still hear the characters talking in japanese and feel like they are watching a Japanese movie starring japanese actors, detaling things like classic Japanese horror, set in the country of Japan!"

SONY EXEC: "Yeah, sure, that sounds like a great-- NO! WAIT! I'VE GOT IT!!"

SONY JR. EXEC: "Sir?"

SONY EXEC: "LET'S REPLACE ALL THE VOICES WITH BRITISH-ENGLISH ACTORS THAT ALL SOUND LIKE THEY'RE STRAINING TO DUB SOME FUCKING DOCUMENTARY ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL!!"

SONY JR. EXEC: "Sir?!"

SONY EXEC: "MY GOD! I AM A FUCKING GENIOUS! In this way, none of the players will be able to even finish the game, since ALL of the mood will be gone everytime you hear someone say something!! And just for spite, let's give the part of a 16 year old kid to an aging 40-something British actor, who couldn't fucking act his way out of a wet paper bag!!" I AM A GENIOUS!!! A GENIOUS, I TELL YOU!!!

Sadly, the above dialouge is probably VERY close to what actually happened in real life. You read it correctly; SONY has, for some unknown reason, decided to remove all the Japanese voices and instead add British voice actors doing the parts in British English. It sounds absolutely horrendously horrible. Try imagining a little 10 year old girl being voiced by some tea-drinking rat-faced 30 year old British woman who's probably named "Pamela" and who doubles as a voice over on Discovery Channel! Close your eyes and try it, really really try! And if that's not worse, try imagining her making her voice really small and squeaky to try and sound like a ten year old girl!

Sadly, the horrors do not stop there. Try imagining casting another laid-off 40-something actor from the Discovery Channel as a 16-year old kid! I've been fortunate enough to hear what the game sounded like before it was dubbed, and it wasn't anything like this! Try visiting the game's web page on www.forbidden-siren.com and then listening to the original actors portraying their characters. Beautiful, isn't it? OK, now try imagining dubbing OVER these voices without even changing the damn lip sync first! AAARRRRGHHH!!!

I could go on and on why you should avoid this title like the fucking plague, but I won't. Suffice it to say that this is the worst (read: _WORST_) voice acting I've ever heard in my entire life! It's actually worse than the voice acting for Resident Evil, and that's saying something! Sadly, what makes me cry at night is that the game is otherwise _extremely_ good. This could have really made my day if they had just left the goddamn voices alone. But sadly, they just had to replace the Japanese with English, making me glad every time one of the characters in the game are offed by zombies. Need more proof? I leave you with this scene from the game to ponder:

Setting: An open Japansese country road. Thick fog swirls around, obscuring our view to all sides. We catch a glimpse of a stream running under a bridge. The water appears to have changed into... blood? No! This cannot be?! We gently creep forward, making every step as silent as possible. Suddenly, footsteps! Where do they come from? We scan around, quietly. Look! Over there! Up the raod! Something is moving our way! Oh my god, it's... it's not human! It's giving of really strange noices and gibbering in incomprehensible Japanese! We must run! Quick, let's duck under that Shinto gate over there! Man, this setting is so authentic, it's like you're actually in the Japanese countryside, controlling actual Japanese characters and--

THE CHARACTER YOU ARE CONTROLLING: Cor blimey guv'nor, real pea-souper t'nite ain't it guv? Fancy a tea?

I rest my case.

zer0
03-26-2004, 03:56 AM
Mongo! You should review this game! Do it man, do it!! I'll never forgive you if you don't. OK, well, I probably will, but you'd miss an amazing opportunity if you didn't!

Brent
03-26-2004, 09:11 AM
He only has an Xbox. PHRRRT. Whadda tool!

zer0
03-26-2004, 09:28 AM
And HALO is available on PC now! Mongo, you tool, what were you thinking? Nooooooooo..!

Nicole
03-26-2004, 01:15 PM
I have Fistful of Boomstick. I'll never need another zombie game in my life.

zer0
03-26-2004, 01:25 PM
Review it for the website! Review it for the website! It needs more video game reviews by zombie lovers! And besides it's about time you started pulling your own weight around here, missy! ;)

Nicole
03-26-2004, 01:27 PM
Hey, i'm just here to look pretty and be a token foreigner, ok? Actually having to do something requires EFFORT. Besides, I suck at writing.

zer0
03-26-2004, 01:34 PM
For someone who hates writing you sure do a lot of it here at the forum! Anyway, you should review it, we could add a new review feature for just zombie-influenced gaming: "Nicoles Aussie Zombie Boomerang Bonanza", or something like that. C'mooooooon, whaddya say? It'd be fun fun fun! :)

And besides, everybody knows I'M the token foreigner around here! Sheesh!

Nicole
03-26-2004, 03:59 PM
I didn't say I HATE writing, just that I SUCK at it. I just can't do that funny part. Writing a game review that's not entertaining is kind of pointless. It'd just be me going:

OMG Bruce Campbell is awesome!
Whee lookit the chainsaw go!
Smash kill crush destroy!
Fuck you Zombies!
BOOMSTICK.

So, yeah. We don't want me writin' anything.

Brent
03-26-2004, 04:03 PM
Originally posted by Nicole
[B]I didn't say I HATE writing, just that I SUCK at it.You don't. You liar.
I just can't do that funny part.That never stops us!

And by the way, that kind of review would be SO SWEET to publish.

Nicole
03-26-2004, 04:04 PM
Ahahahahaha. I'll just sit down and play for 10 minutes or so, and then write a stream-of-consciousness account of it as my review :P

zer0
03-26-2004, 04:54 PM
YAY, AUSSIE GIRL!!!! :D

Ken
03-26-2004, 05:18 PM
Ha! Your review just cracked me up. Expand on it and send it to Brent. He'll publish anything.

zer0
03-26-2004, 05:26 PM
Glad you liked it. And it wasn't even meant as a review! More like "a warning to humanity". :)

I'll elaborte on it and then send it in.

zer0
03-26-2004, 09:28 PM
OK! It's done! I hope Brent recieves it!

Ken
03-26-2004, 10:32 PM
Not to burst your bubble, zer0, but I meant that Nicole's Boomstick review cracked me up and that SHE should expand on HER review. Um . . . but yours was nice too . . . I guess. Yeah.

Nicole
03-26-2004, 10:33 PM
I WIN!

Jeff
03-27-2004, 12:55 AM
Ken's review cracked me up! You should expand on it and send it in. Brent will publish anything!

I mean, Ken should write something.

Maybe I should write something.

Can I quit?

Nicole
03-27-2004, 01:14 AM
No, you can't quit. You have to write my review for me, which i'll send to Brent to flesh out and then zer0 will publish. I don't know where Ken comes into this.

zer0
03-27-2004, 03:34 AM
Ha ha ha! :D Ken, dude, next time tell us whose review you're talking about so I don't have to sit and work all night for nothin'! Seriously though, I still think Nicole should write a review and send it in! It had potential!

Jeff
03-27-2004, 09:30 AM
Hee hee hee! That spunk Bruce Campbell is as funny as a Koala Bear after a case of XXXX. Ripper game, this! Holey dooley, more zombies! Hah! Even off his face, the mighty Campbell can't be stopped! Not with with me at the controls. Figjam. This game ain't half as scary as a good bunyip story but it does keep me as busy as a cat burying shit. Gah! This game is ace, the bastard! Well, I ain't much of a yabber, not like that yabbo zer0, so I guess I'll wrap it up. Don't whinge out or act the knocker, eh. I told you I suck at writing.

Ken
03-27-2004, 11:13 AM
Hee hee. Jeff said figjam.

zer0
03-27-2004, 12:53 PM
Ha ha! :D Ken said Hee hee!

Brent
03-27-2004, 02:10 PM
Everyone should review it and then mix it all up and then send it my way

King Mongo
03-28-2004, 11:23 PM
Originally posted by zer0

SNIP

SONY EXEC: "MY GOD! I AM A FUCKING GENIOUS! In this way, none of the players will be able to even finish the game, since ALL of the mood will be gone everytime you hear someone say something!! And just for spite, let's give the part of a 16 year old kid to an aging 40-something British actor, who couldn't fucking act his way out of a wet paper bag!!" I AM A GENIOUS!!! A GENIOUS, I TELL YOU!!!

SNIP

I rest my case. [/B]

I love you like a brother, but I'm having a hard time comprehending what you're saying because I'm absolutely FIXATED on that crazy European spelling of genius. This is why the American economy is so strong--we conserve our "o's"! Fuck, I can't believe how long it's taken me to figure this shit out.

King Mongo
03-28-2004, 11:27 PM
Originally posted by zer0
And HALO is available on PC now! Mongo, you tool, what were you thinking? Nooooooooo..!

Simple, mi amigo--stealing video games for the XBox can be done with nothing more than an internet connection, while stealing games for the PS2 requires and internet connection *and* a DVD burner.

And I sold all my high-end PC video cards in order to make it impossible for me to play video games on a PC, thus freeing up...uh..."many" hours for me to do school work.

Which gives me quite the turgid erection, I must say.

incidentally, I think I'm getting old. I had to go to dictionary.com to look up "turgid," as I couldn't remember if the word I wanted was turgid, torbid, or turbid. Turgid is definitely the word for what's going in my pajamas, tho.

zer0
03-29-2004, 04:35 AM
I love you like a brother, but I'm having a hard time comprehending what you're saying because I'm absolutely FIXATED on that crazy European spelling of genius.

I changed my spelling in the review I sent Brent! Hey that rhymes! Let's hope he finds the time to post it soon, it's absolutoleoy faboulououslouy wriotten!

Brent
03-29-2004, 12:02 PM
DAMN, I almost forgot about it ;)

zer0
03-29-2004, 12:45 PM
AND DON'T FORGET THE ARTICLE I WROTE FOR THE NEW NEWS EITHER, YOU FOOL!

King Mongo
03-29-2004, 01:40 PM
Originally posted by zer0
AND DON'T FORGET THE ARTICLE I WROTE FOR THE NEW NEWS EITHER, YOU FOOL!

Or the TWO articles I wrote for new news!

Brent
03-29-2004, 01:48 PM
Mongo, you loser, 1.5 of them's been published. You only get one more! Unless you send me more.

I ain't forgotten that stuff

zer0
03-29-2004, 01:52 PM
Then don't forget to bug Doug! I'm working on a new comic. Whee, this is fun! We get to tell Brent what to do all day long! :)

Ken
03-30-2004, 07:28 AM
And don't forget the article that I wrote . . . no wait. Never mind.

Brent
03-30-2004, 09:29 AM
Ken, freakin' let's get the other thing done!!!