Four people on board!

[Brent]

I see you Jeff, Nic, Cap, me!

[zer0]

You missed me! I am invisible and lurk in the shadows! Muahahahahaa!

[Nicole]

It's true! I'm here. Kind of. When my boss isn't watching.

[Cappy Ahab]

Nicole's boss is a jerk! And Nicole's boss smells like flapjacks!

(That'll make him/her regret looking over your shoulder!)

[Nicole]

Why do pancakes need another name, hmm? WHY? Pancakes is FINE. Flapjacks sounds stupid!

*frisbees flapjacks at you all*

[zer0]

Ever try Swedish pancakes? They're quite good. Much thinner than American pancakes and delicious with some strawberry or blueberry jam. Only problem is, you can't chuck 'em like a frisbee.

That sucks.

[Nicole]

Is Swedish Pancakes some kind of euphemism, zer0?

[zer0]

No, just yummy. Real yummy. (http://www.biderman.com/images/pancakes.jpg)

[Nicole]

They look kind of crepe-like. Somewhere between a pancake and a crepe.
There's no real type of pancakes here in Australia - it just depends where you go. We don't have some kind of national standard. We are a bit partial to pikelets, though. Mmmm, pikelets mit jam.

[zer0]

Somewhere between a pancake and a crepe.

Yeah, that's pretty much exactly how I'd define them. Man, I could eat about a million and a half of those, to quote Forrest Gump! Especially my grandmothers', they're the best. Yay grandmothers!

We have pikelets here too! But here they're called "plättar". Pretty cool huh? :)

[Nicole]

Right on. Pikelet solidarity.

[Brent]

You can get Swedish pancakes in Portland! Mmm. Hey, aren't pancakes called cakepans in Australia? Or panacakas?

[Nicole]

No, we call them Bob.

[zer0]

FIRE WALK WITH ME!

[Nicole]

WOW, BOB. WOW.

http://www.uq.net.au/~zznhoye/pics/twinpeaks/coop_bob.jpg

[zer0]

Oh yeah! I've been meaning to post this link (http://lynch.batbad.com/) for ages now, but I've never found the opportunity! Check it out, it's a virtual simulation of the Black Lodge and almost every other scene from David Lynch's movies! Just walk around and explore! I have no words for how cool this site is for a Lynch freak (like myself)!

Be patient, though. There is a LOT of stuff here!

And the birds sing a pretty song.

[Brent]

Is it Lynch that brings this sad little collection of humanity together? And me?

[zer0]

Yes! The joy of Lynch brings us all together! In mobs! Looking for horse thiefs!

[Nicole]

Dude, this looks nifty. I shall have to investigate it when I get home and have plenty of time to waste procrastinating.

[Cappy Ahab]

No. Not Lynch. I hate him and all his drunk lawnmower driving friends.

It is pancakes that unify us. Or flapjacks if you are going for the funny. Nobody break it to zer0, but his "Swedish pancakes" are actually Norwegian lefse.

[zer0]

Aren't those made of compressed rotting fish? I seem to recall reading something about that. No wait; the article said all Norweigian foods are made of rotten fish! That also explains the way Norweigians smell, I guess. My mistake.

[Cappy Ahab]

Yeah, and you are eating their lefse! That's like taking a bath below a sluice gate! Ha ha!

[zer0]

Mmm! Yummy!

[Jeff]

Why are the Norweigians leaving?

[Brent]

It's spring?

[Jeff]

We had those Vikings by the horns!

[kendalchen]

Let's get those cheese-eaters where they live.

[kendalchen]

Oh wait, I think that's for those Icelandic people.
"Do you mean to tell me that your ENTIRE country is above the treeline?"

[Ken]

Back on topic: there are four people on the board again--me, Brent, Jeff, and Kendal. Eeeeeee!

[kendalchen]

Dang, and I was waiting for the inevitable Björk joke.

[Brent]

Three of the four people on this board will be in Portlandia on Feb. 22nd!

Portlandia's hot. She was drunk. She totally wanted me. Is she registered?

[kendalchen]

Kind of hard to type when your hands are always in that position. Which Jeff had to point out is the same thing Spiderman does when he ...makes webs.http://www.niteranger.com/portlandia.jpg

[Jeff]

Yes, Portlandia is Spider-man. Errgoats, Brent thinks Spider-man is hot.

[Ken]

One of the four people on this board will be in Denver on Feb 22nd! Ha! Well, Morrsion actually. ha.

[Brent]

Originally posted by Jeff
Yes, Portlandia is Spider-man. Errgoats, Brent thinks Spider-man is hot.

What if Portlandia is Spider-woman? She is, you know. She's hot.

[Brent]

I think Ken should get his company to fly him out to Portland that weekend. To inspect the sweatshops.

[Jeff]

Is Morrsion like Badon?

[Cappy Ahab]

My favorite thing used to be going to Morrissey concerts and screaming "Do Moondance! Do Moondance!" Even as a kid, I was too hip for the room.

[Brent]

Did you read Moonshadow, too?

That comic sucked.

[Cappy Ahab]

Moonshadow was really groundbreaking at the time: I used it to hoe my garden.

Actually, I couldn't read the crappy tiny type and watercolors are beyond my grasp.

[Jeff]

I liked Moonshadow.

Brent has a problem with things that he initially thinks he likes and then he thinks about the way they made him feel a certain way and then he resents them for trying to be what they are and making him do what they did.

But he especially doesn't like Moonshadow because it reminds him of the time when he could never win the Pinewood Derby.

[Cappy Ahab]

Moonshadow strained my eyeballs too much. I shouldn't have read it underwater. Otherwise, I'm all for the "normal guy/weird universe motiff." It reminds me of me on this forum.

[Jeff]

I liked it so much I've never reread it and thus can only remember that there was a fuzzy thing with a hat that smoked a cigar.

[zer0]

Ever read "Hewligans Haircut" by Jamie Hewlett (former creator of "Tank Girl" and "The Gorillaz")? Man, talk about normal guy/weird universe-concept!

[Cappy Ahab]

Wasn't that based on Molly Ringwald's hair stylist from Space Hunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone?

[Jeff]

I have not read that one. I am only posting this to get nearer to 1000 posts even though it exposes the horrible, naked gaps in my comic book knowledge.

[zer0]

That's OK, not many people have heard of that one. It's about this recently paroled mental patient who celebrates his release by giving himself a new haircut which looks a lot like a big egg with a hole in it, which is visible regardless what side you look at it from. Unfortunately, this hairstyle turns out to be the symbol which deactivates logic and reality, and Hewligan (the mental patient) must now go on a oddysey with a girl named Scarlet O'gasmeter to find the "switch" which turns reality back on again!

[Jeff]

Dammit! I was just writing that story. Fuck. Another projekt I'll just give up on.

[Brent]

Moonshadow didn't remind me of anything except just how much J.M. Dematteis sucks as a writer. Except for the furry guy sucking on a cigar that always reminds me of Jeff!

[Brent]

Jeff, Cappy Ahab, Nicole, Brent are ALLLLLL ABOARD!

Choo choo!

[Cappy Ahab]

Except Brent. He's still on the bus, that nickel toting zombie.

[zer0]

Hey, I'm here too! What about meeeeee?!

[Nicole]

I don't like the idea of you people having fun and being on the board while I sleep. I demand you move the entirity of the board and its members to Alstralia.

[Jeff]

How do you know we're not already there? Hunh? Hunh? I mean, Crikey? Crikey?

[Nicole]

I've always suspected you were Alstralian, Jeff!

[zer0]

Dude, Sweden is so in another time zone that I generally tend to stay up late at nights just to post when there's someone else at the forum besides me! I don't mind, tough; posting here is the most fun I've had since I stole that tank and drove it down the freeway and then tried to jump the divider.

[Nicole]

It's like, 8.30am here at the moment. The time differences confuse me greatly, so I just sleep through all the fun.

[Jeff]

It's 2:30 PM here and the CORRECT DAY, Missy!

[zer0]

Man, you Alstralians got it tough. Not only do you have to walk around on your hands all the time, but you can't even sleep at night because it's daytime! You must be so tired, Nicole.

Good thing y'all got those pouches on your tummies for keeping soda and snacks in!

[Nicole]

You're just jealous you're not INNA FUTUR.

[zer0]

Oh yeah; the time here is currently 23.32 in the evening/night, in case it interests anyone.

[Brent]

Originally posted by zer0
Dude, Sweden is so in another time zone that I generally tend to stay up late at nights just to post when there's someone else at the forum besides me! I don't mind, tough; posting here is the most fun I've had since I stole that tank and drove it down the freeway and then tried to jump the divider.

You don't live in San Diego, liar! zer0's the real liAH!

Anyway, I copied and pasted the names that were on board, so you're still a lying liAH

[Nicole]

Soft drink, zer0. It's called soft drink. YOU HAVE RUINED YOUR 777 POSTS. Arrrg.

[zer0]

No, no! Please don't put me in your pouch and suffocate me! PLEASE DON'T PUT ME IN YOUR PO--

[Nicole]

The carnivorous pouch strikes again.

[kendalchen]

A carnivorous pouch on a vegetarian???
That's either neat or messed up, Berkity. Or Nicole.

[Nicole]

People don't count, though! Besides, it has a mind of its own, L-dear.

[zer0]

It's convenient. She's a vegan, but her pouch gives her a chance to still go out and enjoy a nice, juicy burger without guilt! :)

[Cappy Ahab]

Besides, with zer0's lefse diet, he's practically a vegetable anyway.

[zer0]

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh...

[kendalchen]

Is that like that French dude who robbed banks in Marseilles dressed up like an eggplant?

[zer0]

Je suis presque tojours fabrique de jambon, et ma mère fume la crack-rock comme un cigare. Elle habités dans le ghetto et est très, très dangereux. Comme un criminel. Elle également vole beaucoup de voitures et joue la musique de coup sec et dur de gangsta à toutes les heures du jour. Fort.

Man, who'd have thought those lessons in French would have actually paid off?? :D

[Cappy Ahab]

Translated into normal, zer0 just said:

I am almost tojours manufactures ham, and my mother smokes the ace-rock'n'roll like a cigar. She inhabited in the ghetto and is very, very dangerous. Like a criminal. She also flies much of cars and plays the music of dry and hard blow of gangsta at every hour of the day. Extremely.

So, I guess those online translation services really paid off.

[zer0]

Actually it's supposed to be:

"I am almost always made of ham, and my mother smokes crack-rocks like a cigar. She lives in the ghetto and is very, very dangerous. Like a criminal. She steals lots of cars and listens to rap music at all hours of the day. Loud."

[Brent]

Well, I was very confused, so I ran zer0's translation from English to Portugese to English to Italian to English to Chinese to English to Korean to English, which finally clarified everything:

"Them my mother who is always the prosciutto and to leave nearly in order to see the sigaro leaks a rule. Her flesh it very Manh wall child right Manh, is dangerous inside national decimal total and. The appear criminal to be doing. She the automobile leaves the goods and it is prudent and all hours which it moves inside one music Hoom who listens to it hits. The production puts out rumor."

[zer0]

Er...my...hovercraft...is...full...of eels..?!?!

[Cappy Ahab]

Don't you mean Heu... mon... aéroglisseur... est... complètement... des anguilles. ? ! ? ! , Frenchboy?

Or should I say Freedomboy?

[zer0]

Min svävare är full av ål!

[Brent]

I see Ken!

[Brent]

Ken's gone! Only me, only me to entertain me

[Nicole]

Did someone say... entertain?? (http://www.tashian.com/multibabel/)

[Brent]

Nicole is on board
All aboard the bullet train
Word to your mother

[Nicole]

i am bringing the
radness to the board of fun
word, Alstralia!

[Brent]

This is my stop, goodnight
Sun sets upon my workday
Evening nap ensues

[Nicole]

oh my, woe is me
it's just 11am
my work day drags on

[zer0]

7 AM in the morning
still dark outside
fuckin' Swedish winter

[Nicole]

8am: Brisbane
It's 30 fuckin' degrees
Quit yer whining, Swede.

[zer0]

Whining? You could
go sunbathing while I'm freezing
my viking ass off

[Nicole]

Hey, listen buddy
Nobody wants to see this
white, white flesh exposed.

[zer0]

You're funny, girl!
I could say the same thing
for my ass!

EDIT: I mean as in "white flesh", not as in "Nicole's funny like my ass is funny", because that's obviously not what I meant. Duh.

[Nicole]

I am very glad
I am not like zer0's arse
um, er, yeah... just yeah.

[zer0]

You are not an ass,
you’re much too friendly and
probably smell nicer too!

And besides, my ass
is a filthy liar; almost
always full of shit.

[Nicole]

the thread goes downhill
as all the talk turns to ASS
in the seventh page

[zer0]

Poo humor is not funny,
unless one is ten years old
fart fart fart fart