Sorry Zero...sob.

[DICK]

You have forced me to re-examine myself. I need attention on the internet especially at Future Retard because I can see that it's me on there and it's not just my thorax but my abdomen is intact while my head is nestled comfortably on my neck and people are looking and see my name and my writing because it was written by me and they were in there reading it and I am here seeing me see that they see me and i did it and they saw it and i am the one who wrote it because it was my hand which was attached to my arm that is mine.

DICK

[Nicole]

My brain itches.

[Cappy Ahab]

Try a medicated powder. I hear that medicated powder works.

Also, zer0 is an insecure mental patient who picks on the real crazies to make himself feel better about his run-of-the-mill Swedish ennui.

So don't take it to heart, DICK.

Conversely, don't eat my heart with a nice side of untoasted Pop-Tarts, either. I carry a syringe of cattle tranquilizers with me at all times, just in case.

[The Grinch]

Cool. Let's all have a group hug.

[Aggregate Kid]

The Reexamined Life
by The Aggregate Kid


i am being torn by two
opposite forces i touch the fabric
that is depressing, my friend,
this is my everyday life! roses
are red, violets are blue,
flowers age, and so called nailed
you out of the most terrible
fights that i know you care.

i like what they have breeze
they give us shade on hot days
when they get in your hair,
people think. but bats eat bugs,
and it's water they drink.

the vampire bat bites you. . .
aaaaauuuggggghhhhhh!

they bite!

no, it's okay, you'll be ok.
some people get happy when i talk
to you we are reunited, just
you and me. smell the pine smell
the aroma in the sand. then my
little joys repeat my lonelyness
relieves.

i see him he is not a ray or a
cuddly teddy bear. a hug is an
amazing thing-- it's just a way to
show my emotions in the middle of
the rest of my life, i dreamed
of him.

[Jeff]

Mmmm, I just love untoasted Heart flavored Pop-tarts. Untoasted, of course.

[zer0]

I'm more partial to the Heart of Darkness-flavored ones. Or at least I was up until I read that drink review.