zer0
11-19-2003, 02:07 PM
So a couple years back I was talking to this guy I'm aquainted with, right? And he used to work as a prison guard (a hack) a further couple of years back. Not the mean kind of hack; no, this guy was well liked and popular with the prisoners. Well, as popular as a guard can get inside a prison...
Anyway, turns out there was this one prisoner that everyone else used to think was weird, guards and inmates alike. Seems he would always walk around, passing out sweets to the guards. Not just any kind of sweets either, but the bon-bon type of sweets that comes in a wrapper and you have to unwrap by pulling on the little cord-thingy on either side. (http://faculty.virginia.edu/italianresource/images/bonbon.jpg) You get the idea.
So this guy always walks around handing out candy, right? But he NEVER gives any to his fellow prisoners, just the guards. And this guy I talked to NEVER got any either, which was totally weird, seeing how he was probably the nicest guard in the place and everyone loved him. In fact, the meaner the guard is, the more candy he seems to recieve!
So finally this guy can't hold it in anymore. He walks up to the prisoner handing out the candy one day and asks (in Swedish, duh!) : "Hey, what's with the candy? Why are you always handing it out? And what's with you always giving it to the mean guys, why don't I and the other prisoners ever get any?"
The guy just smiles.
"Don't you realize those other hacks will continue to beat you up and treat you horribly no matter how much candy you give them?", the guard says.
"Well sure, says the prisoner, of course I fucking understand that. But every night in my cell, I take the wrappers off the bon-bons and shove them up my ass before I re-wrap them again."
Anyway, turns out there was this one prisoner that everyone else used to think was weird, guards and inmates alike. Seems he would always walk around, passing out sweets to the guards. Not just any kind of sweets either, but the bon-bon type of sweets that comes in a wrapper and you have to unwrap by pulling on the little cord-thingy on either side. (http://faculty.virginia.edu/italianresource/images/bonbon.jpg) You get the idea.
So this guy always walks around handing out candy, right? But he NEVER gives any to his fellow prisoners, just the guards. And this guy I talked to NEVER got any either, which was totally weird, seeing how he was probably the nicest guard in the place and everyone loved him. In fact, the meaner the guard is, the more candy he seems to recieve!
So finally this guy can't hold it in anymore. He walks up to the prisoner handing out the candy one day and asks (in Swedish, duh!) : "Hey, what's with the candy? Why are you always handing it out? And what's with you always giving it to the mean guys, why don't I and the other prisoners ever get any?"
The guy just smiles.
"Don't you realize those other hacks will continue to beat you up and treat you horribly no matter how much candy you give them?", the guard says.
"Well sure, says the prisoner, of course I fucking understand that. But every night in my cell, I take the wrappers off the bon-bons and shove them up my ass before I re-wrap them again."