Brazillian humour

[The Grinch]

I'm guessing it loses a lot in the translation. (http://orbita.starmedia.com/marcos_ae/piadas/piadas.html)

1) What ajinomoto spoke for ajinomota?
-- Vamo aji in the weeds?

2) Why the alligator took off jacarézinho of the school?
-- reptil It.

3) As enzymes if they reproduce?
-- an enzyme of the other.

4) You know which the the opposite of volatile?
-- Vem here nephew.

5) Which the wine that does not contain alcohol?
-- the wine of codorna.

6) As if it says topless in Chinese?
-- Xem-xu-tian.

7) Sabe which the difference between the lagoon and the bakery?
-- In the lagoon it has frog, and in the bakery it bakes bread.

8) Why the cow was for the space?
-- to meet with the vacuum.

9) Why the mia cat for the Moon and the not mia Moon for the cat?
-- Because astronomy!

10) As the cockroachs they namoram?
-- EMBaRaTEL Saw.

[zer0]

Ha ha! That's funny! :D But then again, it probably loses a lot in the translation, just like you say. I doubt the jokes were that horrendously bad in the first place. Its not like this page (http://www.thatssopunny.com). I mean, the guy who wrote it had English as his first language. There should be some form of mandatory IQ test before you're allowed your own webpage...

[Nicole]

They should IQ test people before they use forums, too. Yeah. Indubitably. (woo, multisyllabic!)

Oh, and 'WAIT' problem. Good fucking lord. *pokes self in eye*

[zer0]

Aw, c'mon Nicole, you don't have to use multisyllabic words just to hide the fact that you flunked that test. You know we'll always let you post anyway. :)

Heh... That "wait" bullshit wasn't even half as bad as this piece of shit (http://www.thatssopunny.com/page20b.htm). I wanna kill this guy. Bad.

[Nicole]

Oh hell, I know you all keep me around just because I look good. *flutters eyelashes* Hee hee hee!

(I couldn't bring myself to look past that first 'cartoon' and promptly shut the window and ran away).

[Chocolate Ninja]

Hilarious! I think it loses nothing in translation. (Laughing! I think it I do not lose anything in the translation.)

[Cappy Ahab]

I love that doll one! Do you get it? The two ladies are calling Ken's girlfriend a doll, not meaning that she is really a manufactured scale model replica of a human being, but instead that she is a nice person and probably cute and vivacious!

But the cartoon indicates otherwise! That is what makes it so funny! It uses the reader's expectations against him/herself, thus producing a humorous episode! I was totally shocked into peals of laughter! I did not expect the two tiny people in the cartoon to be dolls! I simply assumed that the artist was nearsighted and has no real-world experience with three-dimensional perspective!

But no! He drew the picture that way on purpose! The man is a master of the visual pun with subtitle genre! Give this man a cameo in Dwarflover!

I am confused by one thing, however. I thought Ken was already married to Unregistered. Hmm. Must be an old cartoon from when they were dating.

P.S. Nicole is smarter than zer0 in at least two ways: she can do a handstand and she can put on socks.

[Nicole]

Sometimes the socks even match, Cappy.

[Cappy Ahab]

Wow, I guess it's true when they say no continent is an island. Except Australia.

[Nicole]

We're roooooool special down here.

[Cappy Ahab]

It is a little known fact that Alstralians speak different. For instance, they call an elevator a "lift", the t.v. a "tellie," Russel Crowe an "actor," and an AK-47 a "Kalishnikov."

To an Alstralian, the United States is referred to as "Up Over," the U.K. as "that despotic exiling totalitarian regime with the dead sexy accents", South America as "Over and Across and Up a Bit," and New Hampshire as "That Stupid Place with the Fall Down Rock Face."

Alstralians don't eat peanut butter, but they bathe in Vegemite. Their primitive belief structure includes such bizarre myths as "Budweiser is a revolting beverage," and "McDonald's is a soul-devouring world daemon."

Also, in their native habitat, they can often be found wearing socks. Except they call them "burp taxi buffaloes."

Also, they are foreigners!

[Jeff]

Don't they also sleep in burning beds?

[Cappy Ahab]

Really? How can they sleep while their beds are burning?
How can they dance with Charles Durning? (http://www.setmedic.com/images/durning2.JPG)

[Brent]

Being Alstralian means never saying you're sorry!

[Nicole]

We're number one! We're number one!

(Actually, we call the US the 'place of bad coffee' and Russell Crowe a 'fuckwit'. Just keepin' it real, baby.)

[Jeff]

Is Road Warrior a realistic look at the life of the average Alstralian?

[Brent]

I bet "Mad Max Beyond Thunder Dome" is even closer!

[Ken]

Brent, I thought you would have suggested "Priscilla Queen of the Desert."

[Brent]

What's that?

[Jeff]

It has something to do with Elrond in drag I think.

[Ken]

Not Elrond! Zod!

[Brent]

Ken is SO GAY!

[Nicole]

Think Priscilla crossed with Mad Max, and you're *exactly* spot on. No, really. Yeah.

[Jeff]

Wow. I want to live there. It sounds like heaven.

[zer0]

Priscilla combined with Mad Max? You mean feminine post-apocalyptic road-warrior fags in mohawks and glittery dresses brutally cat-fighting over the last remaining lipsticks in a bleak future? Actually, I don't think people were ever meant to envision that... :D

[Brent]

Don't worry! The U.S. will civilate Alstralia (http://www.news.com.au/common/printpage/0,6093,6760977,00.html) soon enough!

[Jeff]

I envisioned that, zer0, which is why I think it must be heaven. As long as the lipstick we'd all be fighting over was hot pink. Or glow in the dark.

[Nicole]

Brent, your first mistake was believing anything from news.com.au

Your second mistake was then thinking that anything that anyone from a University said was true :)

[Brent]

Damn. I was looking forward to being able to drink the water when I come visit someday.

[Nicole]

Oh, we have to boil the water first. Then we add vegemite to it. Mmmm, hot yeasty salty drink!

[Cappy Ahab]

Things must be quite different in Nicole's pretend country. In real Minnesota, as soon as you go beyond Metrodome, you are at the Mall of America. Talk about postapocalyptic.

[zer0]

Kittens sure are cute, aren't they?

[Cappy Ahab]

The slogan for the Mall of America should be:

"Two men enter. One man leaves...with one of those stupid kiosk helicopter toys that he paid 30 bucks for and will never touch again in his life."

Talk about man's inhumanity to retail.

[The Grinch]

Hey, the helicopter kiosk dude's gotta feed his kids and pay his rent too. So's the UPS guy who brings in the boxes of crap, the teamster who unloads the giant cases of crap from the ship, and the freighter crew that hauls the giant shipload of crap halfway around the world. The Chinese political prisoner who makes the crap in a slave-labour sweatshop has to keep from getting shot, and the People's Liberation Army that owns the sweatshop has to buy more uniforms, AK-47s, missiles and nukes so they can invade Taiwan and overrun Asia someday. So everybody wins!

[Jeff]

That sounds communistic. Or totalitarian. Especially that part about the helicopter dude 'having to feed his kids'. Dude, this is America. He doesn't HAVE to do anything.

[eltejano]

old:

brazilian reply (http://www.misirlis.com/futbol.html)

[Cappy Ahab]

Captain's Log:

I love South America. Everything's upside down. Down here, it is masculine to assert one's homosexuality and an insult to acknowledge another man's revulsion over sodomy.

Ken should move here.

Good God. Is that the Maritime Brent Delim--

[Brent]

SMACKDOWN!

[Cappy Ahab]

Captain's Log:

Strange television transmissions are being emitted from the Maritime Brent Delimiter. The crew of The Peaquod are fascinated, in a trance-like state, unable to lift the smallest finger, if only to change the channel...